Today I’m going to get a little deep with you and talk about something that has plagued me most of my life: always picking the safe path–oftentimes at the expense of what I actually want. I’ve come to the realization over the past year or so that I’m kind of a chicken.
I’ve always played it safe. I like safe. It’s comfortable. It’s easy. I’m good at safe so I welcome it.
Safe has been the place I inhabited throughout my 20’s. But as I crept closer to 30 I started realizing I no longer wanted safe–I wanted things to feel right. Safe started feeling frustrating, constricting, boring and kind of depressing. And as I looked around at the life I’d created at 29, I realized that safe was actually pretty dangerous, because safe kept me comfortable enough to not try for anything more and take the next step towards what I was actually meant to do.
I had created the reality I thought I wanted. I’m sure it looked pretty good from the outside too. I didn’t strive to create the most amazing, incredible version of what lit me up. Instead I created a stable life and career that would allow me to have time in my life to do things I enjoyed because I had an “either/or” story when it came to my career. Either you worked all the time doing something you hated and made a lot of money, or made a little less but had a good schedule so you had plenty of time to do things you enjoy.
Don’t get me wrong I can’t sit here and complain about my life. It was really good! I was healthy, loved my family and friends, and had job that gave me two months off a year. But it just didn’t fit and I could feel it. I couldn’t deny it anymore.
That feeling will eat you up if you’re not careful. It will slowly start to creep in and steal precious days and weeks of your life. It makes it hard to stay in the present when you’re wishing away the seconds until you have the time and space to do that other thing–the thing that actually lights you up. You may not even know what that “thing” is yet. But you know it exists. You can hear it calling you, and the more you ignore it, the louder it gets.
Have you ever heard the saying (and I’m paraphrasing here), “The Universe will tickle you with a feather to get your attention, but if that doesn’t get you to listen it’s going to go all sledgehammer on your ass.” Well it’s true and believe me, it’s no fun when that happens!
So where is the Universe whispering to you? For me, it was my career. I was playing it safe and I knew that. That feeling in my gut just kept nagging at me until finally, I listened. Don’t get me wrong, it took the latter half of my 20’s to finally act on it, but I did. It was scary to face my fears and take that first step.
I didn’t know what it was going to look like to leave teaching, or walk away from wedding planning, or pivot in my new business, but I did it anyway. And every time I’ve made a scary decision that wouldn’t fall into the “safe” category, something else even better has come in. When I released my need to know all the things and just allow events and situations to happen I was able to stop pushing. Pushing to try to get my way or make things happen. I never realized why I was so tired all the time but looking back I know it was because I was always striving to make things fit that just didn’t. I felt like my life was Lacey Chabert in Mean Girls trying to make fetch happen.
So how did I make the shift away from safe?
With the help and support of an amazing coach and an incredible group of high vibe women. Before investing in a coach, I thought it was a total luxury for people who had already “made it!”. I worked with an awesome mentor in my wedding business who I would have totally been lost without (she was a godsend!), but we were all business. We didn’t get into the deep underlying mindset issues that were holding me back. Those blocks had impacted me with wedding planning, and were slowly creeping in again. I knew I needed to address them head on.
With my current coach (the incredible Lulu Minns for those who’re interested), we focus on the transformation and mindset side of things as well as business stuff. It has been a total game changer.
I’ve realized that having someone push you, to be accountable to, and bounce ideas off of has been invaluable to me – both personally and professionally.
I have also embraced Lulu’s tribe of amazing female entrepreneurs who are on the same journey I am. They have been an incredible support system to me as I’ve navigated these changes. I know you’re probably thinking it’s easy for me, “She has X, or she works with Y.” Yea, bro, I get it. I would have said that too before I made this shift. But you know what changed for me? I made a choice. That’s it. It was that easy. I made the things I wanted a priority and let the universe know I was serious about it. And you know what? It all worked out!
So in closing, remember these three things:
- Feathers are much more fun than sledgehammers, so heed the whispers of the Universe.
- If it doesn’t feel right, you have two choices: ignore the feeling and keep going accepting the fact that the feeling will still be there in the future, or examine it and be open to pivoting in order to allow something even better into your life.
- Be open to finding people who support you and embrace them. You can’t do it alone.
Now get out there and live dangerously! Ok, well maybe not like super dangerously, but just like not as safe.
Thanks for reading,